In 2018, I entered New York Presbyterian/Columbia University during a period of profound vulnerability, seeking healing and professional care. Instead, I encountered Dr. Ruth Farrell McCann—a psychiatrist whose actions fundamentally damaged my trust in the medical profession and created obstacles that continue to affect my recovery journey. Today, she serves as a Clinical Assistant Professor at NYU Grossman School of Medicine. My experience forces me to confront the difficult question: Who protects us from healers who become agents of harm?
Patients in crisis surrender their fragility to physicians sworn to “do no harm.” The Hippocratic Oath. Yet Dr. McCann weaponized that vulnerability. Her mischaracterizations of or conversation and outright lies were not mere oversights—they were betrayals. Some of the harshest and most impactful betrayals that have ever happened in my life.
Facts later disproved her assertions, but the damage was irreversible. Her “care” derailed my recovery, amplified my despair, and left me questioning whether trust can be placed in a caregiver. Unintentional infliction of harm can often times be forgiven. It's much harder to forgive intentional harm, especially when the caregiver runs away from facing the harm they've done, dismissing it all and clearing their conscience with an article written in a medical journal.
In a paper published in the Annals of Internal Medicine, Ruth McCann wrote: “Being afraid of a patient can feel like the worst kind of betrayal. My psychiatry training partly involves working with patients who are feeling and acting out of control. I have struggled to know what to do with the emotions I have in those situations. How dare I feel frightened of, angry toward, or overwhelmed by a person whom I’ve promised to help?”
These are not the reflections of a practitioner striving for growth—they are a confession of unresolved turmoil. A scrubbing of sins by handwaving them away in an awkward admission. Patients in crisis need stability, not a caregiver paralyzed by fear or resentment.
The medical system, designed to protect doctors from patients with valid concerns, too often shields those who cause harm. Complaints vanish into bureaucratic voids; institutions prioritize reputations over restitution. My fight for accountability met silence and deflection at every turn. But silence is complicity. By sharing my story, I refuse to let this system erase what happened—and I urge others to do the same.
For me, her “treatment” became a catalyst for devastation. Without relentless self-advocacy and external support, the consequences of her actions could have been far more harmful.
If you’ve endured similar harm, know this: your pain is valid. Your voice matters. By speaking out, we dismantle the culture of impunity that lets providers like Dr. McCann practice unchecked. We must demand that institutions scrutinize a doctor's fitness to treat vulnerable patients—especially those patients in crisis—until they prove capable of embodying the empathy the role demands.
This is not just about one doctor. It’s about a system that prioritizes protocol over people, reputation over repair. It’s about ensuring no patient is left to endure the added trauma of a healer’s betrayal. Share your story. Demand transparency. And to those in power: Listen. A profession built on trust cannot survive when its guardians become the source of harm.
So, back to my original question of who protects us from healers who become agents of harm. The answer is nobody, because the system is bent to support doctors at all costs and to minimize losses in reputation and monetary losses. But... throughout my journey I've learned that many, many doctors and therapists do listen with empathy and dedicate their life to helping others. Many doctors and therapists put aside their own issues to concentrate on healing the patient that is in front of them.
---
Source for Dr. McCann’s quote: Annals of Internal Medicine (https://www.acpjournals.org/doi/10.7326/M19-2455)